Santa Made Me Cry

Yesterday, our cohort had a Secret Santa gift exchange. Today, I am looking at the gift I received with tears in my eyes. O.K., yes, I'm a bit emotional these days--all the reflecting I've done and trying to explain to the world who I am as a teacher and what I want for my students. It's all been a bit much. But Janey's gift spoke to me on many levels and is worthy of tears! She presented me with a beautiful spiral-bound whimsically-designed journal. She wrote "Mrs. Brady's Quote Book" on the cover and then filled many of the pages with beautiful quotes and sayings that I know she selected just for me. It's cool and beautiful looking and I will refer to it often. It is also a wonderful model that I can piggyback off of to invent projects for my students. Thank you, Janey, for showing me what's possible! I'm already flooded with ideas, of ways students could create a special type of journal for themselves like this one Janey created for me. On another level, I am overwhelmed by all the time and energy Janey put into this project, when I know how busy and stretched thin we've all been. Wow. What is most moving, however, is the feeling I have that Janey really "gets" me. What a gift that is. I feel rededicated to my goal of giving that gift to each of my students.

Living with Frustration, Heartbreak, and Injustice

William Ayers talks about "working the gap"--trying to teach in that space between hard reality and the ideal classroom. Now that we are in real classrooms, we know what he is talking about! I felt it the other day in my middle school math classroom. I was having one of those days of feeling both elated and sad. The elation was about helping and really connecting with some of the math students. The sadness was about all the kids I knew needed help, but weren't getting it due to time constraints or their reluctance to ask for help. There were other sad issues as well: knowing some of the students wouldn't achieve their potential due to homelessness, violence at home, or lack of self-esteem. It's frustrating, it's heartbreaking, and it's not fair! And how could I ever feel good about this job, knowing there would always be a sense of things being undone and imperfect? My friend and colleague, Deb, came to the rescue! She listened and then said something so simple, yet so inspiring. She reminded me that I could only help one child at a time and that was profoundly better than helping none at all. It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: "The greatest tragedy is to do nothing because we know we can do so little." (Edmund Burke). If not us, then who?? The fact that the gap exists is the reason we need to step in. If there were ever a place where big hearts and big minds need to go, it's in the classroom. Rather than focus on the gap between the ideal and the real, I'm going to shift my focus to the gaps between yesterday and today: what changes and improvements--even tiny ones--have we made since yesterday and how can we make more changes tomorrow? Wouldn't it be great to teach in classrooms filled with kids who live in loving households with plenty to eat, situated in schools dedicated to real learning and whole-child development, located in societies that support teachers as professionals and reject simplistic high-stakes testing? Sure, it would, but meanwhile, I'm going to use my whole heart and soul to help make small steady improvements, one child at time.